Excerpt's From 'Oh, No! I've Become My Mother"

Oh No, I’ve Become My Mother is the first book that responds to the question every woman at some point asks herself, sometimes with total shock—“Am I my mother? How in the heck did that happen?” This book answers that question by identifying the verbal and non-verbal messages women received growing up with their mother and then links those messages with an adult daughter’s pattern in relationships, sexuality and aging. You could be surprised where mom is still lingering in your life.

Debra was driving in a rainstorm on the freeway, scared to go faster than 30mph because of all the wind and rain. Cars were whipping past her as if their drivers hadn’t a care in the world. In contrast, Debra was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white. Were those other drivers crazy? Why were they going so fast?

A memory suddenly came to her of a summer childhood vacation with her mother driving the family car on a mountain road so slowly that the cars and trucks behind her had all started honking their horns in an unsuccessful attempt to try to get her to go at least the speed limit. Her mom must have been going only 25 mph in a 40 mph zone. That’s when the thunderbolt hit Debra: “Oh no, I’ve become my mother!” The realization made her laugh at first, but then Debra began to think about how much of her behavior on a day-to-day basis was really tied into her mother’s.

The Curious World of the Mother/Daughter Relationship

Whether it hits you in you in your twenties, thirties, forties or upward, the thought that you might become your mother in thoughts and actions affects you—and every otherfemale alive—leaving question marks in its wake. Why do I care so much about what she thinks? Why do I never learn my lesson and know she isn’t going to validate any idea I put past her? Will she never understand me? Will she ever know that I don’t want unsolicited advice? Why does she always seem to sabotage me? How come she can’t just be my friend? The questions are endless whether you had the most perfect mom in the world or a mother who could have played the role to perfection of the wicked witch of the west. While for some women it’s a pleasant thought to be like their mothers no one wants to be exactly like their mother.